From the National Fatherhood Initiative:

"You can't be the kind of father you want to be. You can't be the kind of father you wanted to have. You've got to be the kind of father your children need you to be."

-- Roland Warren, President of NFI

Good Advice for Daughters (or anyone, for that matter)

A former co-worker posted a list he put together of 100 pieces of advice for [his] daughters, copied below as a mirror of good advice. While I don't quite agree 100% with all 100 (I'd swap coffee and clothing in #83), there's a lot of good here.

1. Practice being a good listener. Nothing will gain you more respect nor teach you more patience than to be an active listener. Look people in the eye and truly listen to them.
2. When you know more than the other person, don’t let on. It’s better to appear amazed by what they know than to seem like a know-it-all.
3. Be careful in choosing your friends. Often they will be your greatest source of support, even more than family. Be wary of their advice. Never follow blindly. Question your friends, and if they are truly your friends, they will respect you for doing so.
4. You do not need a man to validate your worth.
5. Love is a fickle thing, and I certainly cannot give expert testimony on the subject, but I do know this: honest communication is very important.
6. Bad things happen to EVERYONE. It’s how we react to them that matters.
7. Shun drugs of any kind. We should experience life unfiltered.
8. When you’re right, no one will remember. When you’re wrong, no one will forget. Deal with it.
9. Be suspicious of the motives of government and organizations. If it has a treasurer, think carefully before joining it. Our government, though manned by many well-intentioned people, is structurally flawed and morally unsound. There’s really little hope to change it. In fact:
10. Avoid politics. You’ll be happier just living your life and shunning partisan rhetoric.
11. Exercise regularly and make it a part of your everyday life. When you have nothing, when you feel like you can’t go on, physical exercise can pull you through many problems.
12. Study hard at two things: writing a coherent sentence and speaking in public. Once you’re in the real world trying to get a job, it’s not what you know that matters, but how well you can communicate.
13. Learn the rules of grammar so you avoid embarrassing mistakes. People judge us by the way we speak, and proper language is a lost art. Don’t make mistakes concerning “your” and “you’re”, “too” and “to”, and the like. Don’t be THAT person.
14. Find something that satisfies your creative urges. This is critical to happiness. If you can make a living doing this, all the better.
15. Refrain from killing any living thing.
16. When standing in line, let the two people behind you go ahead. Make this a habit.
17. Wherever you are, however much time you can give: volunteer.
18. Never fuss over housework. Obsession with cleanliness is a waste of time. We all end up in the same place – covered in dirt.
19. Don’t ever stay with a man who hits you. Or cheats on you.
20. Ask old people to tell you their stories.
21. No rich person has ever built anything. Every thing of wonder ever built by mankind was built by the lower class and working class. The Empire State Building was built by immigrants, the Great Wall of China was built by surfs and soldiers, and the Great Pyramids of Egypt were built by slaves. When possible, gather around the working class and find out how they accomplish amazing things.
22. Whatever you are spending time thinking about, you are becoming.
23. Have the courage to go to a movie alone.
24. Remember that harboring a resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die.
25. Find a spiritual path that works for you and practice it. I’d suggest it have practical steps and tools that you can apply to your life. Blind faith, without practice, is not a spiritual path.
26. Happiness comes from inside YOU, not from external factors.
27. Learn how to do simple household repairs, this will save you lots of time and money, and give you something to with your idle weekends.
28. Read.
29. Don’t crack your knuckles or bite your fingernails in public.
30. Try never to borrow money, but lend it freely if you can afford to never see it again.
31. Match your belt and shoes.
32. Avoid caffiene.
33. Make sure to move away from your hometown at least twice.
34. If you must drink alcohol, never drink it at a work function.
35. Listen to the Beatles, Ray Charles, and Johnny Cash.
36. At their very core, there isn’t a bit of difference between the two major political parties in America.
37. If you’re entertaining company, don’t allow yourself to be distracted by “gadgets” – turn off your phone and other devices. Be PRESENT with the people you are with.
38. Learn to iron and enjoy the simplicity of it. You’ll look nice, too.
39. Surround yourself with people who are funny.
40. Don’t indulge in sex for just the pleasure of it. Have standards and discriminate.
41. Read Huckleberry Finn, Robinson Crusoe, and other classics that intrigue you.
42. When it comes to learning history, don’t worry so much about when and where and who, but learn why events occurred and what it means.
43. Never accept a job based on money. And don’t marry for it.
44. Be advised that much of our history is the story of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man. Racial and religious intolerance is a big deal, for example.
45. Never drive when you can walk.
46. When it comes to humor, leave people wanting more.
47. The simplest explanation is often the most likely.
48. If you become an aunt, be the aunt who always sends a birthday card.
49. Paying taxes is not patriotic. Neither is waving a flag or wearing a red, white and blue hat.
50. Speaking of that, symbols are generally bullshit.
51. Hold hands.
52. Speak up for yourself, because rarely will anyone else do it for you. But be humble.
53. The bigger your head is, the easier it is to fill your shoes.
54. If someone steals the credit, or you fail to get the credit you deserve, don’t mention it. Get over it.
55. Every once in a while wear pretty bows and ribbons in your hair.
56. When you kiss, touch a part of the other person’s face with your hand.
57. Travel as much as you can, especially when you’re young.
58. Don’t believe in conspiracy theories. They require coordinated effort and disciplined silence that most people don’t possess.
59. Shun television as much as possible. This will be difficult, but your mind will be better for it.
60. Learn two or three clean jokes that you can tell if you’re asked to make a speech or toast for any occasion.
61. In regards to speeches: be brief.
62. If the dorkiest boy in the class asks you to dance, politely thank him, and then dance with the poor fellow.
63. Recognize that just because people may have been in jail or prison, if they have paid their dues, they deserve a second chance. We all make mistakes.
64. Having said that, consult your mother and father before dating a felon.
65. Be advised that if you ever meet your heroes, you’ll probably be disappointed.
66. Rarely is anything crucial. When faced with a difficult decision, take time before acting. No harm in giving it another day, week, or month. Sometimes the best action is no action.
67. When in a serious relationship: commit.
68. Don’t burn bridges. You never know when you’ll see someone again.
69. Have the strength to ask for help. This is so important.
70. Build a reputation of being someone who can be counted on.
71. As soon as you can, when you start to earn money, have some of it automatically withheld and deposited in an investment account. Do this and you will be astounded by the accumulation of compounded interest.
72. Be prompt.
73. Don’t wear a lot of makeup.
74. Don’t look at people as if they are good or bad. We are all good and bad.
75. Don’t scream at or hit your children, a parent shouldn’t be feared. A parent should be a safe haven to a child.
76. Always do these three things for your children: open your home to them, loan them money, tell them the brutal truth.
77. Make loud sandwiches with crunchy things on them, like potato chips, celery, and fresh onions.
78. Avoid using the word “um” and other forms of lazy speech.
79. Speaking of that, there’s nothing wrong with a pause in conversation.
80. When you act like a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
81. Don’t play video games.
82. When it comes to relationships don’t proceed based on arbitrary timelines. If it’s the right chair, it doesn’t take long to get comfortable in it.
83. Three luxuries it’s okay to spend money on: travel, clothing, and pastry. Three luxuries you shouldn’t spend a lot of money on: cars, gadgets, coffee.
84. Good: calling your mother and father once a week. Better: sending a handwritten note to your parents for no reason. Best: including your parents in one of your favorite activities.
85. Write handwritten notes, you’ll be remembered for it because no one else does.
86. Don’t be one of those people who hates to have your picture taken.
87. Once you think you’ve got it figured out, you’ve stopped living.
88. Give compliments – to people you know and to total strangers.
89. When you’re at a party and confronted with someone you just met, don’t ask “What do you do?” It’s a lazy question. Ask them what their favorite book is, or where they last went swimming, anything but “What do you do?” Avoid answering if someone asks you.
90. Don’t read beauty and advice magazines. Read the Beatitudes from Jesus, it’s in the Bible.
91. Love your sisters and brothers, someday they may let you live in their guest bedroom.
92. Try to make sure you have a few thousand dollars stashed away somewhere for an emergency.
93. Don’t cover hardwood floors with rugs.
94. For some stretch of time use public transportation. It teaches patience, reliance on others, and affords you a chance to see some interesting characters.
95. Apologize swiftly and move on.
96. If the person who loves you doesn’t have your back, move your back.
97. Take care of your teeth.
98. Avoid cliches: in written word, in speech, and in deed.
99. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.
100. Live every day like it’s going to be your last day, because one day you’re going to be right.

Problematic Permissive Parenting?

A liberal acquaintance of mine started a blog with a first post that I'm guessing (hoping) is somewhat tongue-in-cheek:

When you have kids every toilet in the house has yellow water in it and sometimes worse. Basically I have given up telling the kids to flush. I just go in behind them and do it.

Great, let's train our kids at an early age that somebody will take care of you and walk behind you to fix your messes all the time. Sure, it's hard and exhausting and frustrating, but if parents don't teach their kids how to behave, who will? First they don't want to flush the toilet, then they expect easy A's at school, then they don't want to fix their mistakes at work, then they'll expect the government to pick them up. Hmmm, then again, maybe those are the lessons liberal parents are trying to teach their children.

Beck on the Bailout

Like many, I'm trying to get a handle on the bailout and the economic mess that led to it. Here's a synopsis that I like so far:

Glenn Beck: What happened?
Glenn Beck: What's Coming
Glenn Beck: What Can I Do to Prepare? (all 3 are good, but wow this one is awesome!)

And some more great thoughts on the state of the economy:

Commentary: Get ready for more economic trouble ahead

Learning from Dogs

I don't own a dog, but couldn't help nodding my head reading a forwarded message from my aunt on the things dogs can teach us:

• When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
• Take naps.
• Stretch before rising.
• Run, romp, and play daily.
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
• When you're happy,dance around and wag your entire body.
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
• Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
• Be loyal.
• Never pretend to be something you're not.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
• Being always grateful for each new day and for the blessing you have.
• ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Teaching the Next Generation How to Live

My goddaughter sent me this essay in an email (though the email attributes it to Paul Harvey, it's actually from Lee Pitts's "People Who Live at the End of Dirt Roads". Too many people today don't learn to fail, think you get rights without responsibilities, and have some skewed impressions of fairness. Time for some tried-and-true lessons:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life. Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.